I originally was going to post this yesterday for an overdue “Motivational Monday” but my day was unexpectedly extremely busy. This post was written over the weekend and I was just deep in thought. I wrote freely, unedited, and I really wanted to share this message because it’s something I’m really passionate about. So here is a #TuesdayTruth for ya. Hope you like it. I hope it inspires you to simply be you.
This is one of those posts that are developed after a long night and my mind is racing and I can’t sleep. So I write. I think. I analyze. I write. I came across a post of FB recently that got me to wonder: are we living in an age where questioning our worth is perpetual? I don’t remember the topic, if it was a status, or a comment on someone else’s status, but a woman asked if she needs to lower her standards because she’s not meeting any guys that have what she wants (something like that). And initially I thought, “hell no!.” But tonight, I’m thinking about that because, though we as women question a lot of things, one thing we shouldn’t waiver on is our worth. Because if we truly knew and valued our worth we won’t settle. We won’t accept anyone who is basically half ass. Right? How many times have you heard “know your worth”?
Here’s the thing. I admit to being that girl with super high standards that then lowered them because I thought maybe they were unrealistic. Maybe I needed to take a risk, give this one a shot. And in the end I was always disappointed, hurt, and most of all…severely disrespected. I believe in sharing what I’m feeling, even if it bites me in the a** (which it usually does), even if I regret it (which I usually do). But that is easier to deal with than the “what if’s” so although I should know better, I find myself doing just that; over sharing. Maybe it’s the actor in me? Perhaps I feel too much? I don’t know. These moments are specs in my timeline, because there’s a part of me, a huge part of me that holds a lot in. Too much. I guess that’s why I go so deeply into my characters; they are my therapy.
But I thought about that girl’s words because I realized that lately this topic of worth has come up a lot for me. For a split second it was challenged, I questioned it, and almost accepted to be “less than” and that is never ok. Someone that does not see your value does not deserve your time. Period. This can be a friend, a boyfriend, someone at work etc. Anyone. They shouldn’t hold any weight on how you feel about yourself, they shouldn’t affect you. Is that too harsh? I don’t think so. At times I’ll have guys (boys I should say, bc they ain’t men), say things to me like, “oh you seem like you demand a lot” or “I know what type of girl you are.” Oh really? Do you? That alone tells me how little they respect me as a human being, because, who the f**k says that to someone they barely know? Someone like that is used to a certain type of girl, one that they can get over on rather easily, one that isn’t “too much work.” They are threatened by someone like me. They can’t handle it. It has nothing to do with me but with the small mindedness of their thinking. That shouldn’t cause me to second guess how I carry myself.
You have to teach people how to come at you. If you don’t they’ll treat you any way they want. I have walked away from friendships and relationships because I didn’t feel I was being treated with respect or with the common sense notion of just treating people right because they are good to you. Anyone that perceives me to be “a lot” or “demanding” just doesn’t want to put in the work, because all relationships require work. And sh*t, if you just gonna be like that, then you don’t deserve to be in my life! It’s really that simple!
My loves, all I’m trying to say here is… know your worth. Hold that up and don’t let people chip away at it, diminish it. Those individuals are not your people. And they haven’t earned a place in your special circle. Protect your special circle.