Some Sunday inspiration for you. I know I usually write my “Motivational Monday” entries on Monday’s but I just really wanted to share this.
I recently had an interesting conversation with one of my best actor friends. He asked me something that I’m sure you’ve been asked too and it’s a question that always baffles me. Whenever I’m asked what my strengths are I have no clue what to say. Has this ever happened to you? I’m always thinking to myself like, what exactly does that mean? Strengths in what? Acting? Corporate stuff? WHAT!?
Ask me what my weaknesses are or what I’m not good at and I may answer a lot quicker. Why do we undervalue ourselves? We can quickly point out someone else’s greatest attributes but we can’t do the same for ourselves. I started to think a lot about past and current experiences that have made me second guess myself.
It started in the 2nd grade when my teacher called me stupid in front of the entire class. That moment has scarred me to this day. Because of it I doubt myself at times, my first instincts go right out the window. Because of it I feel this need to constantly prove myself to others. I guess you can say I’m somewhat of an overachiever. Never feeling “smart enough” and never good enough, in anything.
I chose a field that requires me to constantly prove my abilities so I’ve come to terms with that. It comes with the territory of being an actor. But everything else? Still coping with it. It’s frustrating constantly feeling as though everyone underestimates me. Is it real? Is it in my imagination? I don’t know. But when someone says “I didn’t think you had it in you” then what the f*c* am I supposed to think!?
Entering the blogging world hasn’t exactly been as welcoming as some say it is. These thoughts of not being good enough have come up a lot. It’s a numbers game. If you don’t have thousands of views or followers on Instagram, Twitter etc. then that must mean you aren’t all that good and no one takes you seriously. Which is the biggest crock of mierda ever but that’s the world we live in now.
We get caught up on what other people say or think about us and somehow we let that define us.We start to believe in it and that is dangerous. What happened to me in the 2nd grade was a blessing in disguise. It was and is painful indeed, but, it taught me to never allow another human being tell me I was incapable of something. It taught me to keep going, fight, and never give up. Everything I’ve accomplished was done despite naysayers. It was done because I was that determined in what I sought out to do and that is something that will never leave me.
When I’m in a funk and need a pick me up, meditating, praying, and writing in my journal (yup I still have one!), are my remedies. The pic above is of a park near my place that I love to go to. Sitting by the water, out in nature, and just being in the moment clears my mind and puts things in perspective.
Yes, we all have insecurities but we must fight our way through them. Value yourself and recognize what your worth is and don’t let anyone take that away from you. Ever.