What do you do when things don’t turn out the way you wanted them to? Sometimes we have these expectations and when they are not met it does some damage. Whether it be at work, relationships, friendships, family, or career, disappointments are a part of life. They are, unfortunately, inevitable. As an actor I have to deal with disappointment all the time. Sometimes I’m really good at handling it but there are those times when it leaves me depressed for weeks. We have to learn how to deal with disappointment in our lives. Here are my 4 tips for dealing with disappointment.
1. FEEL THE EMOTION
Many will tell you to “manage” your emotions or to simply get over them, I’m telling you to feel it. You can’t get over something if you haven’t taken the time to fully process it. I’m not saying take a week or month to process something either. If you’re angry, sad, unhappy, etc. live in that moment, don’t rush through it. Eventually what you’re feeling will start to change. You my have started out really frustrated but may come to realize the reason why which will in turn help you to deal with it better.
2. RE-EVALUATE THE SITUATION
Go through the events that just occurred step by step and think about it from another perspective, or several. Things aren’t always what they appear to be and doing this may help you rediscover an important piece that you might have missed. Then, think about the role you played (or did not) play in the situation.
3. SET SOME GOALS
Yes, after re-evaluating you should put some thought behind goals you can work towards to better yourself. There’s always room for improvement that will aid in our overall growth. Maybe it’s just working on practicing patience, delivery of the advice you give, or even learning a new skill. At my last job I was feeling extremely stuck, I didn’t feel as though I was learning and growing. So I decided to start learning Adobe Photoshop on my own and had a co-worker teach me a few things. I knew that learning the program would be beneficial for my personal pursuits but also for the corporate world. When auditioning, I work on just breathing. I know this sounds crazy but I noticed that I would rush through everything and literally not take a deep breath. I’d walk out the room feeling winded and like I couldn’t even remember what happened!
4. DON’T STOP, KEEP TRYING
Dealing with disappointment is a process, we may not feel better right away, but we can help the process move along. It takes time. Exhaust all possibilities before deciding on whether or not the situation is worth any more of your time. Maybe it is, but maybe it isn’t. Regardless of your conclusion keep working on your process, yourself, your goals, your relationships. If there’s something you’ve been trying to accomplish, keep trying no matter how many times you fall. The point is to get back up right?
There are many ways to cope with disappointments in life, these are mine. What are your tips for dealing with disappointment?