Yes guys, it is time to get real. Not too long ago I posted on Instagram about sharing what’s been on my mind lately and today I’m going to let y’all in on it. This might be lengthy so get yourself a snack…I’ll wait…
… Back? Great. I’m sorta kinda at a crossroads with blogging. Yup getting straight to it, no point in easing you in. There are days I love it and there are days it’s not my best friend and lately it’s been more of the latter. I love this lil space. I love sharing with you, getting personal and real, sharing experiences and lessons all in the hopes of inspiring you in some way or helping you to see something from a different perspective. I don’t know how successful I am at that but I’m trying!
Running a blog is a lot of work. It’s overwhelming to do it all alone. Being an actor is a lot work…a lot of unpredictable work LOL. I wonder if I can truly do them both without neglecting the other for too long, without hindering growth. When I think about how much time and effort I put into blogging, into preparing a single post and managing the social media for it I say to myself, “well I could be putting that time and effort into my career, into finishing that script” etc. It’s a case of severe guilt …ha! But really…
At times I get frustrated by the industry and how it’s become so incredibly focused on numbers; on how many followers you have, how many views you got, what your unique visits are…all the while defining our worth. Whether you want to admit or not, it does. Yes you can say “I define myself” or “I know who I am”, or even “I know my worth” and that may all be true. But to THEM, to the people that are watching and making decisions, your worth is defined by a number. Period. That sucks right? Doesn’t it suck that that’s what our society has come to?
There are some really talented people out there, people with amazing minds, people with sick skills that are virtually non-existent because they don’t have a gazillions followers. Doesn’t their voice deserve to be heard? And it’s almost like it never will be until they are a “social media sensation.” That pains me. I’m not trying to be dramatic because if you know me you know I mean that shit.
With all of this building up in my mind I’ve been feeling quite creatively uninspired when it comes to blogging. It’s simply not that fun for me anymore. On top of that, I’m in the beginning stages of producing a short film and that’s been keeping me busy along with my career. Right now those two things are my focus.
Does this mean I’m quitting blogging? Honestly, I don’t know. Perhaps I just need to take a step back. Maybe I need to take a moment for myself and let things simmer. Maybe that time away will remind me why I started, why this blog where I share my voice and in some small way contribute to the world (so I’d like to think) is important.
There are a few posts I have to publish but after that I’m not sure when the next post will be. I’ll try my best to at least be active on the IG account for this blog but more time will definitely be spent on my acting/personal account. By the way, have I mentioned how annoying it is to manage 2 accounts?! Even with the Instagram update LOL.
With the lack of activity here I felt I needed to tell you why. Keeping shit really real because that’s the only way I know how to be.
Thank you for following me, whether it be here or on social media, and thank you for reading this incredibly long post!